I found this review on amazon.com and it is AWESOME:
61 of 75 people found the following review helpful
The DaVinci Code 4
, June 5, 2013
Inferno: A Novel (Robert Langdon) (Kindle Edition)
Instead of reading any more Dan Brown books, I’m just going to complete the following “Mad Lib” with my sister. Feel free to play along.
UNTITLED DAN BROWN BOOK MAD LIB
1) a number
2) month that has at least 28 days
3) adverb that denotes stress
4) pick a European city…any European city
5) title given to a respected educator or professional
6) first name
7) pretentious last name (bonus points if synonym for “Brown”)
8) prestigious museum or institute located in city chosen for #4
9) famous work of an artistic or religious nature
10) any old secret organization or cult you feel like picking on this week
11) social or political cause du jour
12) adverb that indicates someone is an idiot
13) founding member of christianity and/or a member of Aerosmith
14) a bad way for humanity to come to end
15) list 5 cities in the world you’ve ever wanted to visit
16) list 10 works of art/literature connected to or presently located in the cities from #15
17) a number less than 48
18) a fraction
19) a person with a genetic malformity
20) a number over 100
21) word that means “all” or “every” (feel free to use either or both)
22) activity that humans do just because they like to or want to
23) nonsensical word that means “pretty swell”
ROBERT LANGDON, #___ (1)
Late one night in _________(2), Robert Langdon finds himself _____________ (3) running through the streets of __________(4) having recently been contacted by _________________ (5) ____________ (6) ___________________ (7) of the _____________(8). ______________ (6) has contacted Langdon to decipher clues discovered in ________ (9). Before he has a chance to fully devote his attention to the task at hand, a fanatic from the __________(10) attacks Langdon and his host, revealing a conspiracy to violently end _____________________(11). Although Langdon has fallen victim to this same plot twist numerous times and by the same formulaic plot and characters, he once again _______________(12) follows a new sidekick who will ultimately betray Langdon and/or turn out to be the last descendent of ___________(13). In the process of saving everyone from __________________(14), Langdon visits____, _____, _____, ______, and ______(15) and sees ______, _____, _____, _____, _____, _______, _______, _______, _____, and ______(16). Within less than _________(17) hours, Langdon manages to solve __________ (18) riddles, be nearly killed by _____________(19), and mentions his Mickey Mouse watch at least ________(20) times. Meanwhile, the reader has seen pretty much ____________(21) plot twist or surprise thrown his/her way. And at no point does Langdon ever ___________(22). In the end, Langdon returns to Harvard knowing that symbols are truly _______________(23).
So there it is. The “formula” (which is what I hope Brown names his next Langdon book). If we’re lucky, it will also have at least 100 chapters, each one ending on a note that makes us think of SNL’s Really!?! with Seth and Amy skits.
I haven’t read The Lost Symbol, but that book must have been horrendous considering how many reviews of this one that start out by saying, “At least it was better than his last book…” (OFFICIALLY NEVER READING THE LOST SYMBOL)
Good night, and may you not wake up with amnesia in Italy tomorrow.
Thank you, “Jen” from amazon.com!!
And of course, I had to play. Here’s my Dan Brown Mad Lib:
ROBERT LANGDON, #67
Late one night in March, Robert Langdon finds himself drunkenly running through the streets of Copenhagen having recently been contacted by Professor Antonin Balustrade of the Daan Hofbren Academie de Hoog. Balustrade has contacted Langdon to decipher clues discovered in Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup Cans.
Before he has a chance to fully devote his attention to the task at hand, a fanatic from the United Way attacks Langdon and his host, revealing a conspiracy to violently end community mosquito abatement programs. Although Langdon has fallen victim to this same plot twist numerous times and by the same formulaic plot and characters, he once again naively follows a new sidekick who will ultimately betray Langdon and/or turn out to be the last descendent of Rube Goldberg.
In the process of saving everyone from pesticide poisoning, Langdon visits Tokyo, Buenos Aires, Sydney, Nairobi, and Decatur, IL and views and comments verbosely on approximately 67 pieces of fabulous art, including La Mozzarella (a world-famous sculpture by Paulo Boyardee), Sashimi (a well-known woodcut by Japanese Budo Warrior Artist and Haiku Master Tempura Maguro), and Bruce’s Innards (an avant garde interactive art installation by Australian chef and artist Mack Wannacaster, in which patrons walk into the mouth of a life-size Great White Shark and travel the route taken by a typical seal, finally emerging on all fours from the installation’s anus. Langdon finds and pontificates knowingly upon many arcane stomach artifacts, such as a monocle worn by 9th century Antipope Hippodrome VIII at his first antipapal mass in 936, and the brass tuning peg of a 1613 lute played by Antonio Vivaldi.
Astute readers and Dan Brown detractors will point out that monocles didn’t exist in the 9th century, that the 9th century in fact refers to the years beginning with 8, not 9, and that Antonio Vivaldi wasn’t born until 1678, but Dan Brown’s fans will not care about any of this, insisting the inaccuracies don’t matter because IT’S JUST FICTION, PEOPLE!!!
In less than 4 hours, Langdon manages to solve 72 riddles, be nearly killed by a hydrocephalic one-eyed hypochondriac Zen Buddhist horticulturist, and mentions his Mickey Mouse watch at least 89 times. Meanwhile, the reader has seen pretty much every plot twist or surprise thrown his/her way. And at no point does Langdon ever relieve himself, but readers of the book frequently find themselves on their knees in front of the toilet. In the end, Langdon returns to Harvard knowing that symbols are truly something that will make a talentless hack a lot of money.